What happened in the police events leading up to George Floyd’s death is unacceptable. No one, regardless of race, should die in such a manner. In the aftermath of Floyd’s death, I must express some of my thoughts during these tumultuous times.
The recent events amidst the COVID-19 crisis have once again raised the fact that America is stained with the malevolent history of slavery, racism, and social injustice. The same is true for the history of most advanced civilizations. With that said, we are responsible to our family and loved ones, to tell the truth and put things in their proper context. If we don’t tell the truth, we lead ourselves closer to tyranny and not further from it. If we don’t tell the truth, life gets much more complicated, vague, and obscure. Without the truth, you can’t map a plan to address a problem without thoroughly understanding the facts through an unbiased perspective. This is a huge undertaking because the truth is personal and individual to each and every one of us.
I applaud the people who peacefully raise awareness of social injustice in the hopes of making permanent societal change. I applaud those officers who wear the uniform proudly each day to defend the rights of people to peacefully denounce the appalling actions of a select few because that is what I did in the military for over 23 years. I applaud the people working hard every day to set positive examples so that children in underserved communities have role models they can aspire to. I especially applaud those who are figuring out the “why” we are feeling the way we do, which varies from anger to frustration to despair to utter hopelessness.
In my 49 years, I have experienced overt and subtle forms of racism. There were also times that I experienced what I thought was a racist act that turned out to be a misunderstanding of the person’s actions on my part. In all cases, instead of quickly reacting to the situation, I had to pause and silently take a step back from my position. I tried to look at it from the side of the person who potentially made the alleged egregious action. I had to ask, “Why?” Why was it said or done? Did I do something previously to warrant the response or act I received? Were they the jerk, or was I the jerk? Did they have a habit or pattern of insensitivity that led up to this moment? I tried to look at issues from as many angles as possible to give the benefit of the doubt. I have talked to friends who could give me a Devil’s Advocate perspective and not feed into the easy answer. I welcomed a collegial debate with these individuals. My final action was to attempt to speak to the individual, if applicable, to close the loop on the event.
The processing and analysis of a potential racial event takes time. For me, it can last from days to weeks. I replay the events in my mind to the point that I am just shy of being obsessive-compulsive. It is not easy to peel back layers of an event to analyze to get to the truth or the root cause of why the event happened in the first place. Shedding these layers of the events provides insight and self-discovery into my actions. This process is mentally and emotionally exhausting. This evolution could cause discomfort and suffering, which I welcome because I know that in the end, the personal truth discovered will make me stronger.
Life is complicated and is not easy for most of us. Whatever perspective you have of the current events does not exempt you from asking why and digging deeper into your thoughts, the decisions you make or, the actions you perform. Our actions are based on years of experience, layers of beliefs, and personal interactions. The answer to why someone says or reacts the way they do is a challenging one or two-word answer. Taking the time to ask and discover why can lead you closer to understanding yourself, other people, and the environment in which you operate.
Dig deeper and show how much truth you can bear. Once we do that, we can find a solution and heal together.
